Friends

My Story to be told...

I'm a chubby girl that doesn't like surround by people(my social skill is bad). Well, I like to meet people, talk with them but, I'm to shy. I'm lack of everything in me. I have history with people, getting bullied by mentally.

I'm born ordinary, normal, must work hard to achieve something.

While, my both sister is opposite of me, but common to other people. They're born genius and pretty. I must admitted, I'm jealous of them.

When, I was a little girl. I hate going to school, being bullied and not good in studies give me frustration. I like stay at my home, doing stuff I like and everything is there.

My primary school isn't strict. We can do whatever we want. Of course, they have their rules and regulation to be broke by us. Also, have some conflicts with my friendship thingy when I was 12 years old. Too young to know everything.

But, when I enter high school. Everything seem strange and weird. The discipline is too strict for the teen to follow and handle the punishment. Slightly, I have changed my society skill. I becoming more amiable with my own clan. At that time, I don't know what's racist, I thought it's rapist. I'm being racist with other people that tend to have different color, religion and language.

Slowly, I becoming fond with them. Knowing their religion and language bit by bit.

Children Like me hard to handle with, especially when they in their on world. I adapt to the surroundings. Knowing people about their characteristic, being hurt by their body language and ditched by my old friends. I'm being optimistic, saying they're busy while they aren't. Pretend not to know that. Doesn't want to accept the truth and fact. So, I go on with my life, finding the suitable friend that like me who I am.

I still remember that faithful day. It's history class, who like history, It's boring. I sat on the back row in the middle. The history teacher is a man around 30 years old. He ask us " Who doesn't have history?"

I bluntly raise my hand and said, " I am"

All eyes set on me. I put my hand down.

He said with a joke in it, " So, you don't have history of being born? Who're you? An alien that fall from the sky?"

The whole class are laughing at his jokes and my spontaneous. So am I, laughing at my idiot.

When, I was 13 years old. I does something stupid and memorable moment.

That was one of my favorite memory to be told.

It was mathematics class. I hate mathematics at that age. My teacher is teaching us with her soft voice, it almost like lullaby. That day is super hot, the heat totally distract our concentration.

She asking us, " Do you know, how to solve the equation?"

nobody answer it. Their eyes are looking at the white board but their soul has flew away.

I stand up to throw my paper, the basket is at the corner of my left. 

She asked again, doesn't giving up and unsatisfied with the respond, "Do you know? If you don't know I'll show you the work"

Still no respond and it's too quiet. So, I said whispering to myself, "I don't know", as I turn all the eyes set on me including the teacher.

They're laughing at me as they didn't expect anybody to answer it.

I don't know what's so funny about it. You know happy virus, so I laugh with them too. Apparently, they really don't know how to solve the equation. They don't have the guts to tell the teacher about it.
Before this, I have a good friend, but, we haven't meet each other for 10 years. She's the first person that want to friend with me.

When I in form 2(14 years old), I met this girl, she doesn't talk much but a good listener(?). I don't know about her, just little. We becoming the best buddy, we like the Three Musketeer. " All for One and One for All", kinda. For me, If someone approach me first, I already consider her as my friend or best buddies. Because I'm kinda scary. I'm really thankful and grateful for that small things. I thought our friendship will long lasting until the end of our school year. Well, It's not gonna happen, when one cannot take another one idea. My old best friend and new best friend  doesn't like something about each other. and so on, they declare a war between them. By the way, I also don't like the way my old best buddy does. Our Friendship fall apart. So, I'll skip the unwanted memory.

When I in form 3(15 years old), I'm the most care free person in world! I don't care what others said to me, It's not under my concern. I does what I like, If they don't like that's their problem. That year is my enjoyable sweet fifteen. I'm happy for who I am.At that year, I'm the most shameless person in that class. Doing naughty things and I meet beautiful friend and royalty after my friendship fall apart before this. She like me except the beautiful part. I'm doing most of my year with her, She also like what I like. So, we becoming great pal. Like ying and yang. Until, One stupid day, I introduce my psychopath to her( at that time I didn't know, who she really is, That cocky girl !). I know her true color when I'm in form 4(sweet 16? Nope, miserable sixteen.

 I lose everything, in confuse, lose self-esteem, I lose my smile. She being obsess with my dearly friend. She totally changed into some lunatic or mad person, because, all of her life, she always doze of in her imagination world. I don't need to sympathize her, She just some crazy girl that seeking for something that couldn't happen. Real life and virtual life is totally different, she thinks people will always seeking her like in drama or movie, well, it's not !

I have change in that year, I becoming lonely girl. I have experienced being ditched by my friends, fail in every subject, and being isolated from my family. Well, It's not that bad. But, I desperately needed someone. For that year, I struggle a lot.

I'm began to isolate myself with the world. Feeling ashamed and lonely also punished myself. I'm crying a lot. I'm being sensitive over small matter. That year, is the most worse year I ever had. Thank you !. But, I met this wonderful girl. Her characteristic is almost like me. Doesn't talk much in class. So, I approach her, with my lowest self-confidence. We starting to talk about books. After that, she constantly talking with me. Even, she sat beside me and becoming my great partner. I really love her. I do. She's one of my favorite friends.Even so she always backing up me, but I did nothing for her. I'm a horrible friend. I'm really grateful of meeting her.
Our friendship long lasting for the next horrible year.
In fact of that, I met beautiful, wonderful and incredible creature that're willing to be friend with me. Thank you, it one of my favorite memory to be reply in my mind. They're incredibly popular than me. The lowest and moderate person. We become a great friends. The group of loyalty friends that seeking of truly friend. We understand each other better than other. We're incredible and delicate team.
Also, we turn to be talkative person among us. I really love them.
After We've done our importance examination, we have separated and move on our life. But, I can still feel the trace of them in my heart that make me miss them.

One have already been busy with her schedule, the two of them don't know how're they doing, while the other one stuck at her house. Slowly, as time goes by, I starting to forget about them and move on. My wound has been heal by my other friend and spend our time together. I know deep inside my friends they don't like me. As I think about that, my wound starting to bleed again. For 2 months, my heart feel empty, I can't feel anything. I'm going mad, starting to talk with myself.

But for today, everything changed, As, I starting to walk to the entrance I can feel my heat beating faster. I can feel the unwanted pressure. I walk into the hall, and take my result ! I still disbelief. All my effort, my struggle, my situation, my emotion everything is worth it !.Someone gently pat my shoulder and said my name. I slowly turn my back and saw them. Smiling at me.We starting to congratulate each other. We know we have faced the most difficulties together in 2013. I'm not hug type. But, I can't resist to hug them. I miss them so much. Slowly, everyone starting to approach us. As I talk with everyone, my memories fill my mind, full of precious moment to be thrown.

I Miss Them... I am... I do...

# Thank you for still friend with me and love me, I love you guys ! Never doubt that !

*Thank you 4 reading